D&C 100:12

I spent several hours one day this week working on my next post. I was feeling it. The more I typed, the more I needed to study. I was on a roll. I soon realized that this was going to take more than a day. Fine. I can take a week per post. I felt like a REAL blogger.  Then the unthinkable happened: I lost the whole thing. Gone. Off to that place in cyber-space where words just float around without a home, never to return. Wow. What could this mean? I know, I over think things. I just forgot to push save. But I felt that it was a message to me somehow. So I pouted for a couple of days and didn't try to rewrite. Then this morning, I realized that what I had been writing wasn't what I needed to write. I wasn't being true to myself. Time to cut the fluff and just get real. This is a blog for me. I should have titled it "Continuing My Journey." But as I think about it, it's like The Lord is saying to me....."Continue your journey. You have much more to learn. Let Me teach you."  So here I go again....

"Therefore, continue your journey and let your hearts rejoice; for behold, and lo, I am with you even to the end." What is the Lord saying here? He is actually giving reassurance to Joseph Smith and Sydney Rigdon. They were out doing missionary work and had been away from their families for a while and they were concerned for them. In verse 1, it says, "Your families are well; they are in mine hands, and I will do with them as seemeth me good; for in me there is all power." How reassuring! Continue your journey and rejoice! Trust in the Lord!

While I was at WC, the rest of my family was in St. George for Collin's region play-off soccer game. I struggled with the decision to continue with my plan or put "family first" and go to St. George. In this case, I really felt that I needed to be at WC and Collin was cool with that. But that did not stop me from worrying if I had made the right decision. On the first morning of WC, I  ran in to my awesome sister-in-law. She has a way of making me feel so comfortable that I poured out every thought I had had in the last month to her in about 10 minutes. She is awesome :). I explained that I felt bad that I wasn't putting my family first this time but I just really felt like I needed to be here. She shared a simple yet profound statement: "By being here at WC, you ARE putting your family first."  And she was right! I felt a confirmation in that moment and many times throughout the conference that I was there for my family. Putting "family first" doesn't always mean being in their presence.  When we are following the Lord's will for us and doing His work, he reassures us to "continue your journey and rejoice." In just one week we have implemented some change in our home that has been a great blessing to all of us. I'll write about that later :). My heart has rejoiced as I put my trust in The Lord and followed the path that He outlined for me and my family. And I was able to break free from a cultural idea of what it means to put my family first.

The last part of D&C 100:12 is probably my favorite: "I am with you even to the end." We are not alone. The journey is not always easy. In fact, it can be down right difficult and unpredictable. Yet we need not fear for we are not alone, especially when we are choosing to walk His way. Another favorite scripture that has kept me trying to continue my journey and rejoice is in Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct  thy path." We are all faced with difficulties in our life. And we can get through them. And then another will come. And another. And another. Sister Elaine Marshall gave the opening address at WC. She said something that resonated through my entire body and spirit: "Embrace and own the life you are given."  So much of my adult life has been spent trying to change my life. It has been a struggle, like I have literally struggled AGAINST my life. In hearing that idea to embrace and own my life, I started to see it all as a gift. I felt the calming peace of surrender.  When we know that we are not alone, that Jesus Christ is with us to the end, then we truly can rejoice. Sister Marshall shared a quote from C.S. Lewis. He said, “Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” It reminds me of the sacrament. We renew those covenants week after week to always remember Him, to take His name upon us and keep His commandments. I think of those commandments as much more than the thou shalts and thou shalt nots. I think of them as those personal commandments that we are given by the voice of the Spirit that will keep us moving on the ultimate path that leads to Jesus Christ. His Atonement makes this journey possible. "It shall come to pass that every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am; (Doctrine and Covenants, Doctrine and Covenants, Section 93). That is my greatest desire, to see the face of my Savior, Jesus Christ. So with that desire, I will continue this journey through life, accepting the path that The Lord has set forth for me, relying on His mighty arm, listening to His voice, trying to keep His personal commandments to me, and rejoicing as I go!